"Passive Aggressive Partners"

"I always considered myself passive aggressive until I met one much more so than myself. Iam a work in progress at all times, but I'm not sure how to deal with someone else that is so passive aggressive. Especially since my way of dealing with things is being passive aggressive. Any thoughts? Thanks :-)"

This is a great question and full of opportunity to appreciate your growth and learn several lessons. It sounds like since you have "met one more so than" yourself, you can get a new perspective on your own thinking about you. It's as if you are seeing yourself in a better light than you thought and may be having sharper awarenesses now that you are looking face to face in the mirror. You are positioned for major rapid growth. Which also means you are in position to shed whatever "passive agressive" ways no longer serves you.

The fact that you are "a work in progress at all times" says that you are open to growth and that you are working to improve yourself, heal and evolve. This is very promising and suggests that you are actually up to this major growth stimulas.

Take some deep breaths and allow yourself to experience this as a really great opportunity for your development. Really sit with this and take as much time as you need to bring this about inside yourself. This is a sufficient vantage point from which to proceed.

You can also consider adding in the following: 1) Thank your higher smartness for bringing your self to this challenging situation. 2) See the person you are dealing with as a teacher you waited on a long line to learn from.

So, "how best to deal ... " It takes two to tango and only one to stop ... that's you :-). It's time to replace any passive aggressive ways with constructive communicating.

Here are some tips given at About.com in an article "Passive Aggressive Behavior, a Form of Covert Abuse" by Cathy Meyer: (italics are mine)

*Make your feelings the subject of the conversation and not his/her bad behaviors.
(No pointing fingers. Become conversant in your feelings, use your courage to articulate clearly. Refrain from blaming. Learn to express your anger constructively. Grow through and out of any fear of dependency. Grow through and out of any fear of intimacy. Let go of any victim consciousness. Get help to do this, if need be.)
*Don't attack his/her character.
*Make sure you have privacy.
*Confront (carefront) him/her about one behavior at a time, don't bring up everything at once.
*If he/she needs to retreat from the conversation, allow them to do it with dignity.
*Have a time limit, confrontation (carefrontation) should not stretch on indefinitely.
*If he/she tries to turn the table on you, do not defend your need to have an adult conversation about your feelings.
*Be sure he/she has heard you say that you care about what happens to them, that you love them and that you are not trying to control them. You are only trying to get to the bottom of your disagreements and make the relationship better.
(You may feel like you want to control them and this is another place for your personal work.)

The above tips will also help you be kind to yourself ... which is always a good practice. You are already on the path of accelerated development or you wouldn't have raised the question the way you did. See if you can bring up your inner compassion for yourself and the person in the process.